So its tuesday night and i haven made a decision yet...i have right now 3 conflicting views and i really dun noe which to choose. Aiyoh heaven why must i make such a distressing choice...?!!

TJ. The embodiment of a faltering hope and the struggle for a purpose that cannot be justified by anyone but my own naive beliefs. Its the "best" school i can go to. But really i must answer this question. Why am i going there? To tell you the truth, its becuz of dat gal im going but can i stand the emotional pain, the tears that will be flowed and the torture of watching who you like in the arms of another? I lack the courage to even go anywhere near her radius. For an eternity, what i dun understand wud remain a void...Till the day i die, i will never know why she did what she did. I no longer blame her, just wan to know why all this have to happened... Its like all my fault that this happened and this have greatly made me depressed. One side of me wants to forget everything like it never happened and talk to her like we were new found frens.. But i have feelings memories that is not easily erased. Im not heartless okay? I am very devoted to ppl who cared for me.. I really hate everything-myself included.. Its all my fault okay?! Im sorry but sometimes i get kinda pissed and upset..Its all my fault! Damn it! Everything...everything is caused by me..I wish a car wud just knock me over and just kill me or sth. Wud u even cared if i died? Wad if im dying and i asked for you, would you even turned up? Im telling you to stop pretending everything is alright..It may be alrite for you but not for me! I was in the dark of this time..You kept my hope so high dat it felt heart-wrenching when my heart fell to pieces...I felt betrayed and abandoned by you...

A part of me wants you to be happy. Happy Valentine Day. Enjoy yourself with the person you have chosen to be with whoever he is.

AJ. The Bastion of my resurrected happiness. I just felt really happy in there. Friends who cared and shared joy and sorrow. Though whether this friendships can stand the test of times, it remains to be seen. A fact remains. My new frens are there and im happy to be in their company. period.

NY. The cavern of forgotten pasts. Many of my 2e5 classmates are going there. Yining a fren i considered great is there too. The culture i heard is wonderful but i fear that this is all but a illusion. I m uncertain of wad the future holds for mi there..